I’m in Portugal right now so I’ve scheduled this to run whilst we’re away. Hopefully we’re enjoying it and I’m not too sunburnt.
It’s my birthday today, huzzah! I always feel odd about my birthday, it’s not something I really look forward to. When I was a kid it was a reason for my mum to bake a fancy cake. Her Cadbury button Hedgehog cake was second to none and the year she made a swimming pool with little swimmers I was suitable gobsmacked. Presents were great and when I was old enough my parents starting taking us out to restaurants for a special meal which is how I developed my love of raw steak. Thank you, dad. I’m forever in your debt.
Then I got a bit older and birthdays were non eventful affairs. Falling at the end of June when everyone was sick of school but we hadn’t quite broken up yet, I didn’t have a huge amount of friends and rarely did much. One year we went to the cinema to watch Batman and Robin. In hindsight, this was a low point but at the time it seemed quite fun, heh.
I stopped celebrating my birthday at all for a couple of years. A quiet meal out or a quiet meal in – mostly with my family or a boyfriend. I didn’t relish trying to corral large groups of people (I wasn’t ever entirely sure I’d get them to agree to attend for a start). Two years ago was a spectacularly failure where I managed to achieve a group of five people that barely had any connection to each other at all. All lovely in their own right but difficult to create a party from. Oh, and my card got declined at the start of the night which didn’t really kick things off.
Last year I decided I was going to ignore my birthday and hijacked someone else’s birthday event instead. That worked out fairly well and Q and I actually got together for real in the small hours of the morning so that was a pretty good result in my eyes. (I was drunk, crying and almost falling off a wall, and he was panicking slightly probably!) Perhaps not the most solid of starts but we’ve made it through okay and here we are today, engaged and sickeningly happy. Sorry ;) Barring any major disasters we’ll be on a beach as you read this probably, enjoying our anniversary and quietly toasting my 28 years.
I actually threw a party last weekend and although I panicked about attendance and the weather all week it was fabulous. I think I’m finally at a point where I have good people around me, people who are happy and willing to make a bit of effort to travel, even tho Cardiff is far away from Cornwall and from London. I’ve met a good bunch of people in Cardiff too, people I’m proud to call friends. I’m not sure when it happened but I’m thankful all the same.
So maybe the birthday malaise has lifted for good. Next year we’ll be getting married and Q will be turning 30, both big events in our lives. The year after I’ll be turning 30, something I’m infinitely less looking forward to but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I’ll tell you something though; If I have the same friends around me then as I do now then it’ll be absolutely nothing to worry about :)