Wedding Traditions*

Categories Wedding
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*& why we’re not really paying attention to most of them.

Weddings are a tricky time. Everyone seems to have an opinion on most of the things you’re doing, and all the opinions are different (and quite often different to yours, too). There are a million traditions and so many people will tell you that you have to do this and you absolutely cannot skip this. Well. *ahem*. I say bullshit.

Do what you want to do. It’s your wedding, non? If you don’t want to throw your bouquet or have readings at your ceremony then don’t, nobody can tell you it’s not a real wedding without those things. Here’s a list of traditions we decided not to adhere to in our wedding, and why:

1. The bouquet toss
My flowers are made of paper and I have terrible aim. The last thing I want is to give someone a paper cut on their eye or worse.

2. The garter
Some people like them, I don’t. I certainly can’t imagine Q taking it off with his teeth in front of a room full of our friends and family. Awkward, much?

3. Flower girls & page boys
Altho Q’s nephews and niece are the right kind of age we decided to stick with the bridesmaids and ushers and forgo the little ones. No real reason, mostly just to save a bit of money! 🙂

4. Suits
My dress is rather informal and we thought it would be weird if Q and the boys were in super formal attire so he’s just wearing trousers and waistcoat (well, I say just – he’ll obviously be wearing a shirt too. It’s not that kind of wedding) and the boys will be in plain white shirts with navy ties. So what if they don’t look all the same? I once went to a wedding where the mother of the groom insisted they weren’t allowed to take off their jackets until the end of the speeches, which is pretty much my idea of hell.

5. Groom’s speech
Anyone reading this by now should know that I love to talk, so Q and I have decided to do a joint speech together, instead of just him doing one on his own and me sitting by demurely. Honestly – have any of you ever known me to be demure? 😉

6. Addressing the invites just so.
There are so many rules around addressing invites, it’s kind of ridiculous. In the end we wrote people’s first names (no surnames) on the envelopes and didn’t write their names on the invites at all. Who cares? Life is too short to double envelope everything and make sure you’ve got the right title for all your guests. Slap a name on, call it done and make yourself  a gin.

7. The cake smash
Just. No. No.

8. Not seeing each other the night before
I love Q. We didn’t really want to spend the night apart, especially since that meant one of us would be in a foreign room to usual. I’m going to be a mix of Christmas morning excited and first day of exams nervous so having him there to cwtch will be good, I think. We’ll have breakfast together the next morning and then he’ll go off to play golf and I’ll start getting ready 🙂

9. The groom not seeing the dress
I don’t believe in luck so it didn’t bother me showing Q the dress before the wedding day. I’m not supersticious, how can him seeing a garment curse our wedding? My dress is a little unusual, so I wanted to show him to make sure he liked it, rather than see a look of horror as I walked down the aisle 😉

10. The groom standing on the right hand side of the bride
I always stand to the right of Q and I’m not swapping that just because that’s the side he should stand on to be able to access the sword that he won’t be wearing. *rolls eyes*

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have these traditions in your wedding, I’m just saying they weren’t right for us so we decided not to include them. After all, your wedding should be about you and your partner, right? We’ve worked so hard on our planning and I’m so excited to see the whole day come together because I know it really represents who we are and why we love each other. 7 weeks and counting, kids!

5 thoughts on “Wedding Traditions*

  1. I always stand on the right side of Aaron – he holds my left hand in his right – and it would be so weird for me otherwise! You should do what feels right to you both. 🙂

  2. I totally agree, your wedding should be a lovely celebration that reflects you as people – not some rule-laden behemoth. I went to the loveliest wedding recently where the actual ceremony was very short. The reception was absolutely crammed with things that were so recognisably *them* and that’s what made it special 🙂
    The sword thing is definitely silly. My proposal for a modern replacement would be to base it on which side you carry your handbag! N always walks on my left because my (large) handbag is on my right shoulder.

  3. I didn’t even know standing to the right was a thing!

    I agree re: garter toss – I think it’s super tasteless with the whole groom-under-skirt-while-grandma-cringes thing, no dice.

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